Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Creative Liar....Writer meme answer

Ok, I promise I'll be back on topic after this post but here is the answer to the "Creative Writer" post in which I had to come up with 6 lies/embellishments/fisherman tales and 1 truth to see if you could guess the one truth.

1. I've never been out of the United States but I keep my passport handy because you never know when "legal entanglements" may arise.
LIE! It just sounded good at the time.

2.
I have a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
LIE! While I have a black belt in karate, I'm just a white in jiu jitsu

3.
I fractured my skull while surfing on my mother's 50th birthday & it was also Mother's day that year.
TRUE! Martha, Greg, and Kathy all got it right. I headed out for a morning surf session with a friend and thought I'd be back for the family Mother's Day lunch. One depressed skull fracture, multiple seizures, one dislocated shoulder, and an emergency craniotomy later, I found out I was wrong.

4.
I love fish. I love it grilled, fried, smoked, and baked, I just can't stand sushi.

LIE! I HATE fish. I can tolerate very fresh tuna or mahi mahi grilled, I still don't like any fish. I believe that if God had intended for me to eat fish, he'd have made it taste like beef, pork, or chicken....or at least beer.

5. I surfed in Hurricane Hugo for some of the biggest surf of my life.
LIE! I surfed AS Hurricane Hugo passed by Jacksonville Beach and it was an epic day with the second biggest waves I've ever surfed, but I was never actually IN Hurricane Hugo.

6. You can see me in the background in one of the bowling alley scenes in The Big Lebowski.
LIE! Oh come on, you know that wasn't me....I DON'T ****ING ROLL ON SHOMER SHABBOS!

7. I was once arrested wearing nothing but a towel.
LIE! But oh so close. I was pulled over wearing nothing but a towel but only got a ticket for not having my license. It was winter and I had worn my wetsuit to the beach. Once I was done surfing and had gotten the wetsuit off, I realized I'd forgotten the bag that had my clothes. I had my towel already around me (that's how you change out of a wetsuit on the beach, it's winter and no one cares) so I figured...."It's only two miles home, what could happen?"

Fortunately, with the surfboard and wetsuit in the back, the cop that pulled me over for speeding didn't think anything was unusual when he pulled me over for speeding. He thought he let me off easy for not giving me a speeding ticket....if only he'd known!

Ok, that was fun, but back to food tomorrow.

11 comments:

  1. I would not have gotten any of them right, it was a good one to give us, you made them sound so convincing!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's quite the story about the skull fracture. Yikes.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your poor Mom. What a way to spend her 50th birthday. I bet she reminds you of that often:D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chris, something fiction sounds better than facts. But I would say you have still had an adventurous life in your first 40+ years by what you have said to those 7 questions.

    Have you ever thought about writing for the NPR radio program "Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me" ~ your fiction would go well for one of their call in segments.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not even catfish? What about goldfish crackers?
    *shakes head sadly*
    R

    ReplyDelete
  6. Truth or lie was my job for 35 years! Salesmen and purchasing agents could give seminars!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I sooooo want to learn how to surf! However your surfing incident made me have second thoughts, well just for a moment!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This was a lot of fun! I still can't believe you did that to your poor mom!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so far behind I didn't get to guess, but honestly I would have been wrong :) I'm with Martha though, your poor mom - she probably aged 10 years instead of 1 that birthday!

    ReplyDelete