Saturday, August 21, 2010

Tainted Egg Recall

When the billion plus egg recall hit this week due to a salmonella scare, I didn't even have to check my fridge because our eggs come from a local farm. So with my spare time I rewrote this tribute to eggs sung to the tune of Soft Cell's Tainted Love.

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away Cause the
FDA
tells me ‘bout the bad stuff you bring to me
The eggs I loved
full of nasty bugs
My eggs don’t taste right
For my stomach does not feel all right

(chorus)
Once yolks ran for me (they ran)
Now I'll run from you
These tainted eggs you've given
I give you all a cook could give you
Salmonella and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted eggs
Tainted eggs

Now I know I've got to
Run away Cause the
FDA
says sunnyside up ain’t right for me
To make things true
You need someone to cook you through
And you think eggs are okay
But I don’t want a hospital stay

(chorus...)

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though I’m on my rump
Now I'm going to have my stomach pumped
Tainted eggs, tainted eggs (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted eggs (x2)
Tainted eggs (x3)

Yeah food borne illness isn't funny but sometimes you have to laugh instead of crying.